Sunday, April 27, 2008

It's a Start

I know I'm not a very disciplined exerciser, so sometimes I have to force it into my routine. And today, I did just that. I had planned to rent a Zipcar for an hour to do a massive clothing donation haul, driving bags of clothes the 5 blocks or so to the big charity bins. But, this morning, fueled by my scale-induced self-loathing, I cancelled the car (for a fee) and loaded up my old-lady-cart instead. I trucked 7 bags' worth of clothes on foot, and worked up quite a sweat in the cart vs. old sidewalks uphill battle. I didn't fit it all in to one cartload, so that means not only did I force a little activity into my morning this time, I've got plans to do it again sometime soon.

I know, it's not a revolution or rocket science, but I've got to push myself to make any progress. So, as I said, it's a start.


So, I've fallen off the wagon these last few months. In a big way. Life's gotten busy and stressful, and with the apartment renovations I buried my scale under other things and just haven't thought about it. And I've been stress-eating to beat the band. So, this morning, I finally weighed myself again, and I'm just disgusted. And angry at myself. I've gained back 11.5 pounds. How does that happen? I mean, I know exactly how it happened, but it just drives me crazy that what can take months and months to work off only takes a few weeks to put back on. Egad.

Every year I fall off the wagon around my birthday time, and every year it takes me until about April to get back on track. Well, now it's the end of April, and I've got a very busy and probably very emotional few months ahead of me... so now's the time to recommit. Heck, I'm paying those Weight Watchers monthly fees anyway, I should be actually making use of it.

I'm not happy about where I've let myself fall to, but at least I'm still capable of catching myself before it goes any further. It's gonna be tough, and if I still have any readers out there I'd love some encouragement, cuz I can't let this go on any longer. Bah. That number I saw on the scale this morning was just ridiculous. No more.